ICan't
by Relm Wanderer
Summary: It's supposed to be a happy day, Lina and Gourry are getting married. But Gourry can't shake that horrible feeling in his gut and why can't he stop looking at Sylphiel?


_Author's Notes: Again I wrote another fic for my Gourry/Sylphiel shrine. I'll try the site address again for you all:_

_relm (dot) bravepages (dot) com_

_Replace the (dot)s with a . I would adore some visitors to my sad little shrine. _

_As far as this fic goes if you came here expecting a nice wedding lovey dovey fic about Lina and Gourry you should back away. __**This is not an L/G fic!**__ And I do not want to upset any L/G fans. _

_I had trouble sleeping due to stomach pains and while I was trying to sleep the idea for this story popped into my head. It didn't help my sleeping trouble (it probably made it worse) so I had to write it out the next day. This was a scenario that popped up in my mind and I mulled over how I could get it to be G/S. This is what I came up with. _

**I...Can't**

By Relm

Gourry stood nervously at the altar. The collar around his tux felt too tight and his palms were sweaty. He was in Sailune in one of their grand halls waiting for the ceremony to begin. His wedding to Lina Inverse.

Lina and Gourry had been together for over four years and it was the natural course in a relationship to meet each other's parents and get engaged. When Lina brought Gourry home to meet her family they didn't receive him well. Gourry didn't even ask Lina's father if he could have permission to take Lina's hand in marriage. He wasn't even going to. But Lina's father flat out said before Gourry could even mention marriage that he would never condone Gourry marrying his daughter. Lina whom had been listening in on this conversation got real angry. She stormed up to her father and announced that she didn't care whether or not he condoned them, she and Gourry were going to get married.

Of course Gourry and Lina had never talked about marriage before that. And because of Lina's stubborn attitude they were engaged. But they had been together four years after all. Getting married was the natural step forward in their relationship after all.

Gourry's family also had problems with Gourry marrying Lina. Gourry's family felt that the two of them didn't really love each other. And even when they pointed out Lina's obvious faults Gourry didn't defend her. Not that Lina gave him a chance to. Lina flying off the handle at the first insult.

So that's how the couple ended up in Sailune. Prince Phil had been overjoyed at the idea of the Gourry and Lina getting married. So much so that he not only wanted to host the wedding, but pay for everything too. He was even more ecstatic when Lina asked Phil if he could walk her down the aisle.

Filia adjusted her cloak and made sure she had her book ready before cuing the music. Lina and Gourry had asked her to marry them and Filia was determined to have everything go right.

Soft music started to play as a little girl with curly aqua hair dressed in pale pink dropped flowers from her basket. Her smile was bright as she was enjoying the role of a flower girl. Her counterpart on the other hand wasn't enjoying his role.

The little ancient dragon was bored as he walked with the pillow that had rings on it. Val didn't understand while had to parade around dressed in an itchy suit holding a stupid pillow. And he didn't like being stuck with Hailey either. The little Zoanna princess was a loud annoying brat. Hailey didn't like Val either, she felt he was beneath her because she was older than him. But they were both four, Hailey was just a few months older than him.

Once at the altar Hailey beamed throwing her last few flowers into the air smiling at everyone. Val was angry at that moment as he realized that the rings were tied to the pillow. "Did ya think I was gonna lose them?" He asked angrily at Gourry and at his mother. Even though Val was quiet angry at the moment the crowd all thought was so adorably cute so they giggled. This didn't help Val's mood.

"Val!" Filia shushed him. She shot him that look that told him to be quiet.

Val silently grumbled as he waited impatiently.

Next down the aisle was Amelia and Zelgadis. Amelia was also dressed in pale pink same as Hailey and was smiling a dreamy smile as she walked with Zelgadis. She couldn't help but daydream about the kind of wedding she would have.

Zelgadis was as you expected him to be, emotionless.

Both the best man and the maid of honour took their spot as the next two walked down the aisle.

The next pair was Xellos and Sylphiel. Xellos had a large grin on his face that was directed at Filia. Filia hadn't been pleased when she found out that Xellos was going to be one of the best men at the wedding. She protested this wildly. So as Xellos walked closer and closer to the altar his smile was even smugger.

Gourry wasn't paying attention this at all. His vision was focused solely on Sylphiel at that moment. Sylphiel like Amelia and Hailey wore pale pink and it looked lovely against her raven hair and green eyes. Her smile was a sad one as her eyes sparkled as she was on the verge of tears. Anyone not knowing Sylphiel would think by looking at her that she was just one of those girls that cried at weddings. Gourry himself didn't realize the real reason for the tears. He was just captivated by her beauty. It had been a while since he had seen the young shrine maiden and he had forgotten how pretty she was. His heart seemed to beat faster, but he told himself that it was because of nerves. And not because of the shrine maiden.

Next Martina and Zangulus walked down the aisle. Both of them smiled fondly as it made them remember their wedding.

They didn't even get half way down the aisle before Hailey ran to them. "Mommy, Daddy! Look I covered the whole aisle with flowers!" She was so proud of herself that she forgot that she was supposed to stay at the altar.

Everyone chuckled, Martina and Zangulus included. "Yes honey you did a great job." Zangulus scooped up his daughter with his free and the three of them continued down to the altar.

The wedding march started to play and everyone rose as Prince Philonel walked Lina Inverse down the aisle.

Gourry looked away from Sylphiel to see his bride to be. Yes Lina did look good in a wedding dress, but the sight didn't calm his nerves at all. In fact seeing Lina in that wedding dress coming toward him filled him with dread. This was wrong to feel he knew it. A man was supposed to be excited to see his bride. Try as he may Gourry couldn't still the awful feelings he had in his gut.

"Dearly beloved we are gathered here..." Filia started to read.

At this point Gourry started to tune everything out. He looked at Lina hoping that her smile with help calm him somehow. But the weak smile on Lina's lips did nothing to help him, just made things feel worse. Gourry found himself seeking Sylphiel's face for reassurance, but the shrine maiden was nowhere to be seen. 'Where did Sylphiel go?' This didn't help Gourry, because not only was he thinking about why this wedding didn't feel right, but now he was wondering where Sylphiel had gone too.

'You shouldn't be thinking about another woman when you're getting married.' A voice in the back of his head pointed out just making his further feel awful.

"...do you take Lina Inverse to be your wife?" Filia prompted Gourry.

Gourry whom had been lost in his thoughts up to that point was suddenly shocked back into reality. He knew what he was supposed to say, he didn't forget, but he couldn't get the words out. He looked around at all the people who had gathered for this wedding and how happy they all were for him and Lina. His gaze then rested on Lina. Lina the woman he was supposed to love and supposed to marry. Looking at Lina at that moment Gourry realized something very important. "I... can't." He admitted out loud.

Everyone in the room gasped. They couldn't believe what they had heard.

Gourry couldn't believe he had said it himself. But he knew that was the truth. He just couldn't marry Lina. He was afraid to look at Lina at the moment. Knowing he would have to he looked her in the eyes. What he found surprised him.

Lina looked relieved. "I can't marry you either."

The room was noisy while everyone murmured to each other at what they had just heard.

Filia looked like she was going to explode. "You two come with me!" She grabbed them both and pulled them into an empty room and locked the door. "What the hell is going on?" Filia demanded.

"We can't marry each other." Lina said matter-of-factly.

"Why not?" Filia's voice got louder and higher pitched.

"Because we don't love each other." Gourry explained. "Or at least not like that."

Filia sat herself down, her face had gotten pale. "I don't understand, I thought you two did love each other."

"We did." Lina admitted. "But things change. I don't think we've been in love for quite a while and we've been too stupid to realize it. I do love Gourry, but I'm not in love with him."

Gourry nodded in agreement.

"When you kiss someone it should be magic, you should see stars or sparks. I don't feel magic when I kiss Gourry. It just feels awkward." Lina sighed. "The only reason we got stuck into this engagement is because I'm a stubborn idiot. My dad wouldn't bless our relationship. I think he knew that the two of us didn't really love each other. But I had to prove him wrong."

"So what now? Is it completely over for the two of you? Are you going to split up completely or are you two going to be just friends? And the party... Prince Philonel paid for all that food and drink." It made Filia's head hurt thinking about all the planning that went into this wedding going down the drain.

"We'll still have the party. But it won't be a wedding party. And I think things aren't going to change much. I'm sure Gourry and I will still travel around chasing treasure and beating up bandits. But we'll be friends." Lina explained. "So let's get back to the party so we can eat!" Lina went to grab Filia and Gourry to drag them back but Gourry held back.

"Um... you two go ahead. I have something to do." Gourry mumbled.

Lina smiled tenderly. "Try the royal Sailune gardens. I'm sure that's where Sylphiel went."

Gourry blinked in surprise. "How did you know...?"

Lina rolled her eyes. "Gourry you're not hard to read. Now go find her."

Gourry smiled at the encouragement. "Okay!"

"Good luck!" Lina called out as Gourry ran down the hall.

"You're okay with letting him go after her like that?" Filia asked Lina when Gourry was gone.

"He may proclaim to be my guardian and that he'll protect me, but it's her name that he speaks when he sleeps. Deep down I think it's always been Sylphiel." This thought didn't upset Lina. She wanted that jellyfish brains to be happy and Sylphiel deserved to be happy more than anyone.

...

Gourry almost got himself turned around a couple times as he tried to find the gardens. But he did find his way and Lina was right, Sylphiel was there.

Sylphiel sat at the fountain at the center of the garden staring out into the water. The tears that that had threaten to spill during the ceremony flowed freely down her cheeks.

Gourry stopped and stared at Sylphiel. She was crying looking sadder then he had ever seen her and it made his heart ache. "Sylphiel?" He timidly called at to her.

Sylphiel rose and faced Gourry hastily wiping the tears from her face. But it was in vain, she couldn't stop crying. "Yes Gourry?"

"Why did you leave?" He took a couple steps toward her, standing right before her.

"I couldn't watch." She tried to shy away from Gourry's intense gaze.

"Why?"

"I wanted to be happy for the two of you, but I couldn't watch you marry her!" Sylphiel cried harder, her tears flowing like a river.

Gourry reached out and cupped Sylphiel's face with his hands. He gently wiped the tears away with his thumbs. He didn't quite understand why she was so upset. "We didn't get married." Gourry admitted.

Sylphiel just stared at Gourry unsure she had heard him right.

"_...when you kiss someone it should be magic, you should see stars or sparks..."_

Lina's words rang through Gourry's mind at that moment as he was so close Sylphiel's face. The more Lina's words repeated in his mind the more and more he felt compelled. He found himself tilting Sylphiel's face up as he leaned forward timidly brushing his lips against hers.

Sylphiel almost gasped at the feel of the feather light kiss. She clutched the fabric of Gourry's jacket as he leaned in closer to Sylphiel completely claiming her lips with his own.

The kiss stared off timidly but quickly swelled with passion. Sylphiel held onto Gourry desperately wrapping her arms around his neck while Gourry pulled her in as close as he could as he wrapped his arms around her waist. The kiss was intense and full of fiery passion as each one hungered for the other.

Gourry didn't see stars or sparks when he kissed Sylphiel. He saw fireworks. Ones that exploded with such fury and brightness that he was afraid he was going to pass out. His eyes were half closed as he broke off the kiss.

The two of them stood there for a moment trembling from the intensity of the kiss.

Sylphiel was the first to react. "No!" She angrily pushed him away. Fresh new tears fell down her face. She dared to look at Gourry. His face was full of shock and hurt. "You can't do that. You can't kiss me on the day you're supposed to marry her!" Sylphiel choked out. This was too cruel for her. "I won't be that person you kiss because you can't kiss her." She sobbed at this moment. "Even though you know I have feelings for you, you can't use me like that."

"You have feelings for me?" Gourry's eyes were very wide. This whole time he never knew. Suddenly older memories started to flood back into his mind clearer then they had ever been. Because now he was seeing the things that he missed.

"Of course! How could you not know?" Sylphiel cried out. "Isn't that why you kissed me?"

"I'm stupid that's why I didn't know! And I kissed you because I wanted to see how I felt about you!" Gourry yelled back angrily. He couldn't believe Sylphiel would hide such a thing from him. "Why didn't you tell me you had feelings for me?"

"Because I thought you loved Miss Lina!"

"Well I don't!" Gourry threw his hands up in the air in frustration. "I don't think I ever did." His voice was quiet for a moment. "But I guess kissing you today wasn't the right thing to do."

Sylphiel was quiet as she wondered what Gourry meant.

"Since I know now what I know, after this Lina and I are going to go back to adventuring." Gourry explained.

Sylphiel's heart sunk. She had reacted badly to the situation. 'I've messed it up again.' She thought bitterly. 'He's still going to end up with Miss Lina.'

"I don't know where Lina and I will go. Who knows? Probably we'll have Amelia and Zelgadis with us. Don't know, don't care. But after I'm gone for a couple months I'm going to go to New Siaraag and I'm going to find you. And then I'll do things the right way, and ask you out on a date." Gourry decided. "Unless you want to come with us, because you can. But if I see you every day I won't be able to wait a couple months. I'll probably ask you out sooner." He searched Sylphiel's face to see what her reaction was.

Sylphiel just stood there silent. She was so shocked she didn't know what to say to him. "O-okay." She stuttered out after a while.

"Good." Gourry smiled. "Anyway we should get back to the party. Because if we don't Lina is going to eat everything and there will be nothing left." He wanted to take her hand and walk with her back to the hall but he refrained. He didn't want to mess up things more so he just walked on while Sylphiel slowly followed.

...

"Miss Lina are you sure you're okay?" Amelia asked Lina for the hundredth time.

"Of course I am!" Lina mumbled through the food she was eating. "Gourry and I are just going to be friends. So quit asking me!" Lina shoved another helping of food into her mouth and happily chewed. "Man this food is good!"

"Hey don't eat it all!" Gourry protested joining Lina and Amelia at the buffet table. He grabbed a chicken leg and started to munch on it.

"How did it go with Sylphiel?" Lina asked Gourry with a serious expression.

Gourry put down the chicken leg for a moment. "I saw fireworks..." Gourry said cryptically.

At first Lina frowned not knowing what he meant. Then she remembered her comment about sparks. Then she flashed him a smile and patted him on the back. "So does that mean you two are together now?"

Amelia was confused and didn't know what was going on. 'Miss Sylphiel and Mister Gourry?' She stayed quiet and listened carefully.

Gourry shook his head. "No. She said kissing her the day I'm supposed to marry you is bad. That I shouldn't use her to get over you. Did you guys know she had feelings for me?"

Lina and Amelia both nodded.

Gourry scrunched his face into a twisted frown. "Did everyone but me know this?"

Again Lina and Amelia both nodded.

Gourry lowered his head in shame. 'I'm such a dummy... No wonder Lina calls me stupid all the time.'

Lina chuckled. "Anyway so what's going to happen next with you two?"

"Well I told her that I was going to come back in a months to see her and ask her out properly. Or that she could come with us, but that I wouldn't wait that long to ask her out. I don't know if she'll say yes, but at least I think she's okay with the situation." Gourry mused. He realized that he hadn't gotten a real yes or no answer to if Sylphiel will date him in the future.

"I definitely think she's okay with it." Lina said smugly.

"Really you think?"

Lina nodded. "I haven't seen her smile like that ever." Lina motioned for Gourry to look at the other side of the room.

Sure Sylphiel's eyes were puffy from crying before but the smile that graced her lips was wide. Her eyes twinkled with promise as she caught Gourry's gaze.

Gourry blushed slightly feeling those old pitter patters in his heart that he had when he first met her.

"Wow that's so sweet!" Amelia gushed out. "But why were you kissing another woman on your wedding day Mister Gourry?" She demanded very quickly switching to justice Amelia mode.

Gourry sighed. 'I should have waited until tomorrow to kiss Sylphiel.' He thought bitterly as he tuned out Amelia's rants about sanctity of marriage. Instead he dreamed of the date he might have with the shrine maiden.

_Author's Notes on Hailey and Val: Hailey is a character I made up for some possible into the future fanfics I had planned to write. Usually she's not the same age as Val she's usually much younger then him, but in this fic I decided since I needed a flower girl I'd make her about the same age. As for the antics with Val and Hailey, their actions and reactions where heavily influenced by real video clips from TLC's Wild Weddings and America's Funniest Home Videos. Don't remember which clips, kids or weddings they were but they were cute and funny. _


End file.
